


J2 Fic: He Doesn't Know (An Excerpt...)

by PhoenixDragon



Series: He Doesn't Know (An Excerpt) [5]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Blackmail, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Graphic Non-Con, M/M, dark!fic, dub-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-04-06
Updated: 2010-04-06
Packaged: 2017-10-12 12:31:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/124841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixDragon/pseuds/PhoenixDragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warnings, Notes, Disclaimers and Links to be found in the last chapter...</p></blockquote>





	J2 Fic: He Doesn't Know (An Excerpt...)

**  
Part Five   
**

" _Fuck_..." Jared murmured, letting his fingers drift up to Jensen's lips, surprised and pleased when Jensen's mouth opened, tongue darting out to kiss-lick the tips of his fingers. Jared moaned low in his throat, rocking into Jensen as his fingers were nipped, lapped and nibbled at, the hardness of his dick catching and shifting Jen's robe at the small of his back.

Jensen's breath was a warm brush against his hand, lips pursing around each individual fingertip, a small humming noise vibrating from his chest as though he enjoyed the taste of Jared's fingers. Each lick, each nip and kiss against the sensitive flesh of his fingers sent a jolt straight to Jared's dick and he rubbed against Ackles, unaware he was doing so, so focused was he on Jensen's mouth, his tongue, the way his lashes fluttered against his cheeks, the way his adam's apple bobbed with each purr he made against Jared's flesh.

"Jensen... _fuck_..." Jared whimpered, crowding up against him, soaking him in, his smell, how fucking _sexy_ he looked, how damned good his mouth felt. He had to actively rip his hand away from Jensen's seeking lips, watching in fascination as Jensen hummed his disappointment, tongue sweeping out against his lips as if to get a last taste of Jared in his mouth.

He realised then that he'd been rocking his hips against his friend, his dick insisting on attention - and he wanted nothing more than to be buried in Jensen's heat. It surprised him, the sudden surge of lust and greed that Ackles inspired in him, how badly he wanted -

 _to bend him over and just fuck and fuck and fuck - Jensen moaning, pleading beneath him, writhing on the length of his dick_

to touch him, to feel Jensen surrounding him in every way. He had no idea where this came from, why he was so damned caught up in his best friend - but it certainly wasn't the worst thing to come out of this day, that was for sure. But here in a moment, if he didn't get himself under control, he was going to be ending this encounter... _prematurely_.

"Keep this up and I won't...I won't last much longer," he gritted, biting back a groan as Jensen shifted his upper body to see him better, the motion pressing Jared's dick against his side, silky material of the robe cascading just-so across his over-heated flesh.

"Do you want me to just suck you off?" Jen asked, his voice low with a seductive lilt, eyes blown wide with lust and an unidentifiable emotion that died just as fast as it had appeared. "I can do that...I can do that and then -"

 _you can escape..._

"No," Jared hissed, reaching down to squeeze the base of his dick, trying to stave off the impending orgasm that threatened. Just the words alone, the image that they conjured almost did him in. He had no idea how, or _why_ Jensen's softly whispered offer of -

 _hot, wet, delicious ecstasy_

fast relief did this to him. Jensen had always been able to do that though, spin him about, wring him out, wear him down - elate him. He was afraid to examine that too closely, though. His whole world view had been shaken too much in the past half hour, he didn't need the foundations to crumble.

' _I just need to get off and get the fuck_ out _of here_ ,' he thought desperately, trying to convince himself that he was just caught up in the surrealism of this whole day - it meant nothing beyond that. He couldn't let it mean anything more, couldn't let Jensen and his beauty and his vulnerability _make_ it into more. ' _Put this misery, this_ madness _behind me_.'

"I just...I just need to step out, or...or something," he grated out, almost keening as he was assaulted with the image of Jensen falling to his knees, sucking him into that wet, warm mouth again, swallowing down what Jared gave him -

 _ **Fuck**_.

Jensen carefully maneuvered around him, long stride making the hem of his robe peek open around his thighs, just enough to give a glimpse of what was hidden underneath, Jared's eyes drawn to it even as he tried to look away. He caught himself as his fingers went to stroke the length of his cock, giving himself another vicious, painful squeeze, teeth worrying at his lower lip.

He kept his eyes trained on his best friend as he went back to the dresser, curiosity making him pause for a moment, distracting him from the ache in his balls as Jensen rummaged for a moment, lips pressed together as he frowned in concentration. He finally found whatever it was he was looking for and he turned back around, walking back to Jared's side, eyes on the floor again as he held his hand out, something shiny and small nestled in the center of his palm.

Jared picked it up, wavering between amused and apprehensive, brows drawn together in confusion.

"A cock-ring?" Incredulous. Jensen shrugged, eyes never leaving the point between his feet, voice deadly serious.

"That way you can...go as long as you'd like." He replied, the sweet baritone of his voice a hushed murmur directed at the floor. "But if you'd rather I -"

" _No_!" Jared breathed, jumping when Jensen flinched, realising he was too loud, too fast. "No...I'm - this is fine. Just...let me..."

Jensen went back to his self appointed position, back turned to Jared, eyes on the far wall, his manner patient and as apprehensive as Jared felt. It took a minute for Jared to get the damned thing on. He'd never needed one before and though it was a simple piece of construction, its very simplicity confounded him and he had to wrestle with it for a moment to get it in place.

It occurred to him that playing around with this thing bought him the time he needed to calm down and he almost took it off again, thinking he might not need it after all. In the end, the goal was to get out of here faster right?

' _Then why not let him just suck you off_?' a traitorous voice whispered in his head. He willed it to shut up and found he was nervous all over again, his dick back to its previous half-hard state. He noticed that Jen was quiet the entire time he fidgeted with the damned thing; though he was sure if he needed help, Jensen probably could have done it. Seemed he had some... _experience_ in these things - a thought that sent a shudder of lust through him, even as it made him uncertain and lost.

He picked up the lube and popped the cap - the sound too loud in the dim quiet, making both men jump slightly - and pondered what to do with it. Jensen couldn't tell him unless he asked, couldn't touch him to show him how to apply it, couldn't look at him (though by no means a rule of Jared's there) and Jared was too afraid of looking like an idiot.

He waffled for a moment, then squeezed a liberal amount into his palm, the greasy feel of it pulling a moue of distaste to his mouth. He barely let it warm up before he slathered his dick with it, the chill of the stuff almost making him wilt further and he shuddered as he coated his length, unsure what to do next. He still had some left over on his fingers, but he was reluctant to reach for Jensen and just... _jam_ them into him - and he was rather lost on where to go next from this point. He was lucky he had gotten this far without puking, fainting or running.

"I'm uhhhh...I'm," Jared coughed, reddening slightly even though Jensen wasn't looking at him.

Ackles tensed for a moment, then his head jerked in a short nod, shoulders straightening once more. He started to turn around then seemed to think better of it, hands coming up to fumble with the sash to his robe, the material around his shoulders loosening, then going slack as it started to slide off of his shoulders.

Jared was so caught up for a moment in the sensuous slide and rustle of the silk-like fabric against Jensen's flesh he almost let him drop the robe, forgetting for a moment that this would fully bring home that this was a _man_ -

 _Oh, like_ that's _not obvious_

That this was _Jensen_ he was getting ready to have sex with - and then he remembered every flinch, every hiss and grunt of pain that his friend had uttered and he _really_ didn't want to see what had caused that.

 _Fucking coward._

" _ **Stop**_." He gasped, suddenly afraid and angry all over again. He knew this was coming out wrong, that Jensen was going to take this wrong, but he really didn't want to _see_ -

" _Don't_...leave it on."

Jensen sucked in a breath, the sound shocked out of him by the boom of Jared's voice and nodded, one short, sharp movement as he pulled the robe back up over his shoulders -

 _the bruises were like artwork, like splashes of dark paint across the pale canvas of his shoulders and neck_

hiding the horror that was displayed beneath. Jensen's head dropped forward, shoulders hunching for a moment as he seemed to stop breathing, every muscle coiled in on themselves. When he finally relaxed once more, head coming back up to stare at the wall, Jared found his own lungs could work again, his friend's pain palpable.

 _What am I_ doing _here?_

"Jensen..."

This whole day was insane. _He_ was insane. This fucking merry-go-round they were on...what the fuck was he _doing_? He came here to talk. _Talk_ , dammit - not get involved in some twisted mind-fuck with this man. Not to get involved in... _whatever_ this was. Not to -

 _feel him,_ smell _him, taste his skin - bury himself deep, deeper than dreams and wipe the nightmares away with the slide of Jensen's flesh against his, hear him moan and beg and whimper and say his_ name

get _involved_. Just make like he was useful, flap his fucking gums then slink away home with his tail between his legs. He wasn't suppose to do this, to _want_ this. He was just making it worse. This was so much more, so much _bigger_ than some fucking pissing contest between the two of them - bigger than 'who's gonna flinch first'. This was nightmare territory. He was treading a fine line that he crossed fifteen minutes ago and if he did this - if _Geoff_ found out they had done this - what did that mean for Jensen?

"Yes..." A sigh. Like he knew what was coming. That they had come so far and yet Jared just couldn't do it, he'd done too much harm already. It was over - _they_ were over - and no matter how much he wanted -

 _"I can make it so good, Jay..."_

this, to _know_ just this once, it was wrong; wrong in too many ways to name. He was hurting him. Just by _being_ here, by existing in the same space, at this very moment - he was hurting him.

"I'm...I'm sorry, I _can't_ -"

"I can make it good, Jay," Jensen breathed, voice strained and hoarse like he had been crying.

Jared flinched back at his words, the exact echo of what had been in his head and the horrible sound they made as they tumbled from Jensen's lips. Jensen half turned, breathing ragged as he held himself still, his beauty, battered as it was, stealing Jared's breath from his lungs. "I can - I _will_...be quiet. I won't say a damned thing. You can...you can do whatever you -"

He squeezed his eyes closed and turned away again, crossing his arms, fingers digging into the meat of his biceps, white-knuckled as if to keep himself from shaking apart.

Jared was blown away by the implications of Jensen's statement, left reeling in the too-close air of the bedroom. He felt like he was standing outside of himself, watching this horror as it unfolded and he was helpless in the face of Jensen's pain. His friend felt like he was being rejected, like Jared was disgusted by him - or worse - and he was offering -

 _hold him **down** , take and take and take, hold him **still** , fingers bruising, **crushing** as he sought release_

anything and everything to make Jared happy. To keep him... _interested_...in the 'generous offer' this had all started out as.

He was too frozen, too dizzy inside to be sick. His mind overflowed with terrible images of Geoff and Geoff's hands and him bending and twisting and hitting and _raping_ Jensen until he became _this_ ; a man who would offer himself this way, who would throw himself _away_ like this. He didn't know whether he should be angry that this had happened to Jen, his best friend, his confidant, a major part of his universe, sick that he had _watched_ it happen or (and this was _really_ twisted - the icing on the fucking _cake_ , you could say) _honored_ that Jensen trusted him enough to offer in the first place.

" _Jensen_ , I -"

"I'm sorry," Jensen rasped, fingers digging and digging and gripping tightly through the sleeves of his robe. "I'm sorry. You can...go -"

 _Please don't make me beg..._

"I'm...I'm sorry." Quiet again.

He could hear the tremor as it worked it's way up Jensen's throat, the way he tightened his voice and cut off the sobbing tone that tried to seep through. He longed to touch him, to make it better - but that would pull them both back into this spiral that led to madness and Jared couldn't take any more of it.

Not like this.

"Jensen -" he reached for him, let his fingers glide over his shoulder, his arm, sinking down to where his fingers were tightening on his own bicep, stroking them loose. "I just...I don't want to _hurt_ you."

Jensen laughed sadly, pulling away from his questing reach, pulling his body in tight, drawing in on himself. Jared could see it, in the set of his shoulders, the way his head was bowed - Jensen had laid himself on the line -

And had been found wanting.

'God, _that's not true - you're so fucking **beautiful**. I could never see it before - and now, now I can't _ unsee _it..._ '

"Just go, Jay...forget about this, okay? It's...it's okay. _I'm_ okay - I'm just sorry that I dragged you into this, I'm so fucking -"

And just like that, he was in Jensen's space again, forgetting that he should go, forgetting that this was a bad idea - that even _comforting_ Jensen was a bad idea. He just couldn't take watching him fall apart anymore, knowing that no matter what he did, he was hurting him, that he was _killing_ him.

" _Jen_..." He breathed, pulling him close, steadying him as he went off balance for a moment, wrapping him up and pulling him in as he inhaled his scent. Before he could stop himself, his tongue found the line of Jensen's jaw and he licked at the pulse point, tasting him, rubbing against the taut feel of his body. His breath sobbed out of his throat at the sheer ecstasy of holding him this close, the overwhelming lust crushing his will and he had to restrain himself, keep from rutting against him - or worse, just throwing him across the bed and _taking_ what was offered.

" _God_... _Jen_ ," he whispered, burying his face into Jensen's hair as he wrapped his arms tighter around him, heart pounding with warmth, sorrow and an odd joy that he couldn't place but that just holding him brought out.

"You don't have to do this, Jared." Jensen murmured, letting himself melt into the embrace, soaking up what little he could have before it was taken away again. "You don't have to -"

 _Sleep with me_

" - put yourself through this. You can walk away, Jay. It never happened, okay? I'll just..."

 _Be a bad memory_

"I know you don't really want me, you _can't_ -"

Jared held his breath, heart breaking as he heard what wasn't said, the words that hurt too much to utter.

 _Who_ would _want me?_

" _Jensen_..."His throat tight, tight, tight, " I just don't want to _hurt_ you -"

 _Like_ he _does_

"I _never_ want to - to hurt you."

"Then maybe you should let me go -"

"I _can't_. You don't know what you're asking -"

"And _you_ don't know what you're getting into... _Jared_ -" He reluctantly broke Jared's hold on him, turning to push him away, gently, so _gently_.

"This was a mistake." He flicked a glance up into Jared's eyes, his own so dark, filled with such sorrow, fear and loss, that it took Jared a moment to realise he needed to breathe. His arms ached from where he had held him, his chest ached from the loss of contact with his warmth, the feel of his body against him.

Jensen licked his lips, eyes hardening before he looked away, hiding his thoughts from sight.

"You should have stayed away, Jared - you shouldn't have come here -"

" _Jen_ -"

"I'm not ' _Jen_ ' anymore!" He gritted, closing his eyes to escape himself. "I'm...I'm trash beneath your _feet_! If you can't _see_ that -"

"What are you _talking_ about?!"

"You read it - I'm...I'm-"

"Jensen, _stop_ it -"

"So either fuck me or get out, Jay - just... _please_ don't do this! Don't pretend to make it something it's not - don't pretend -"

 _that you love me_

" -like you actually _want_ this. I'm...You _know_ what I am, you _know_ what I _do_ \- just _don't_... _ **please**_..."

"Jensen -" He bit his lip, confused and reeling again from the rocky waves of emotion spilling from his best friend, his words defying what his body language screamed. For some reason, he wanted this, though he said otherwise - his eyes, his stance radiated need and lust so overwhelming it staggered Jared - even though hateful, awful things tumbled from those perfect lips. "This can be whatever we make of it - just don't push me away, huh? Why are you-"

"This can _never_ be what I -" Jensen swallowed his words back, turning away from him again, every muscle in his arms and shoulders tense and trembling. He wiped a hand down his face and shook his head, speaking before Jared could wonder at his choice of words. "Just...are we doing this - or are you...are you -"

 _walking away_

Jared gave the only answer he could. If he walked away...he didn't want to think about if he walked away. But if he _did_ this, if he actually went through with this, if he actually gave in to what he wanted ( _what he just discovered that he wanted_ ) he could make it good, make it gentle. Show Jensen -

 _how much he meant to him_

that it wasn't all pain and terror. So he reached out, laying a warm had on Jensen's shoulder and guiding him around to face him, crowding in close, using his bulk to back Jen towards the bed, hands hovering close, but not touching him - not yet.

"Jared..."

Padalecki brushed the fingers of his left hand over Jensen's cheek, rubbing leftover vestiges of lube off of his right onto his jeans, the feeling sticky and rough. He didn't want to touch Jensen with that on his fingers, but he did want -

" _Jared_ -" Pleading now, voice rough and tinged with uncertainty.

" _Shhhh_ , Jen -" Jared soothed, cupping the back of his best friend's neck with his right hand as his left continued it's exploration of Jensen's face, soft, barely there caresses against his eyes, his cheek, his lips. The tips of his fingers lingered over Jensen's mouth, tentatively touching the puncture mark left by his teeth, pushing two fingers past the gash to stroke his lips, licking his own lips in nervousness.

"Jay..." Ackles whispered, plea still wavering in his voice, eyes shut tight against his gaze as his lips parted, allowing Jared to move forward, his name a puff of heated air against the pads of his fingers. Jared made a low keening noise, his own mouth trembling as Jensen accepted his fingers, tongue sweeping out to lick up between them before closing his lips, surrounding his fingers with liquid heat as he sucked cautiously, dark lashes shuddering against his cheeks.

"Jensen... _yes_..." He moaned, right hand sliding down to Jensen's lower back, pulling him close as he rocked against him, cock reawakening at the heat and firmness of Jensen's abdomen, the slick, wet pull of his mouth as he pushed his fingers deeper, watching, watching, watching with wide eyes as Jen relaxed into the rhythm, low hum vibrating his chest.

" _Fuck_ , how do you _do_ that?" He breathed, awe and wonder coloring his voice as he tightened his grip across Jensen's back, pushing him up and into the steady rock of his hips. Jensen rocked back, taking his fingers deep as he sucked harder, seeming lost to the sensation, the taste of Jared in his mouth, hums turning to low groans and whimpers as he curled his tongue around Jared's flesh, treating it like -

 _his cock_

his fingers were the most wonderful things he'd ever had in his mouth. Jared leaned closer, teeth catching at the rough edge of Jen's jaw, lapping at the line between his neck and ear, pleased when Jensen shuddered against him, low moan vibrating through his fingers as he desperately sucked, widening his stance to give Jared more stability as he rocked and swayed against him.

" _God_ , that's it, Jen... _fuck_ , feels so good..." He hissed, cock gliding and lunging against Jensen now, robe gaping open at the waist as he rutted against him, the feel of silky fabric and heated skin beneath driving him almost to a frenzy. He carefully, slowly, pulled his fingers out of Jensen's mouth, both hands cupping his ass as he lifted him into each thrust. Jensen moaned again as his hands clamped down perfectly over his buttocks, scrambling behind him to get a grip on the mattress as his feet were tiptoeing the floor, legs spread to balance himself, folding into Jared as he rocked back, giving him what he needed - _giving_ -

Jared nipped his ear, gasping into his neck as he tried to control himself, slow down. He keened low in his throat as he forced himself to still his hips, cock trapped between their bodies.

"Jen -" He gasped, noting the way Jensen made no sound, even as his chest heaved with excitement and lust. " _Tell me_..."

Jensen shook his head, eyes squeezed tight, mouth pressed in on itself.

" _Tell_ me what you are...tell me _why_ -" He whispered, right hand coming back up to cup the back of his head, tilting his face up with his thumb even as his heart clenched at the purple bruising dashed across his left cheek, spilling haphazardly across his jaw and along his brow, creeping over the bridge of his nose to rest below his right eye. "Why would he _do_ this to you?"

"Jared...no,"Jensen sobbed out, trying to wriggle free even as he pulled closer, wanting touch, wanting warmth and gentleness. "I _can't_...you don't know the whole story, I..."

" _Jensen_..." He pressed, kissing the line of his jaw, sucking at his earlobe, voice soothing and deadly with want and fire. "You know how much I -"

 _care for you_

" - just _tell_ me."

"I'm a slut," he blurted, the word thick and ugly between them. " _Look_ at me - look at what..."

" _No_ , Jensen - _**no**_ , that's not -" Jared grated, anger burning in his chest, shock cold and heavy in his veins.

"A dirty fucking _whore_." Jensen's eyes snapped open and lasered into his, freezing his blood with their endless pain and emptiness. " _This_ is all I'm good for, Jared - I tried to tell you...to make you fucking _go_ -"

 _but you won't leave_

"-just...just take what you want. What you need and just -" He closed his eyes again, turning his face away as he became limp in Jared's grip, body shuddering with emotion and disgust as he closed down, pain making his chest tight. "You can't save me, you can't scrub this _clean_. Please stop trying to _fix_ me, to..."

 _love me when you_ can't

"Just do what we came in here for - and then you can _forget_ all this."

 _Forget_ me

He leveled his gaze at Padalecki, the desolation in those eyes like a sucker punch to the chest, the jade a brilliant glowing green even amidst the blankness, the _loss_.

"I _told_ you...I can make it - make _this_ good. I can," he let loose a bitter laugh, dazzling eyes shuttered against him as he wrenched his gaze away - something in Jared's face forcing him to turn away, to suck his pain back in, hide it from sight. "Just _take_ it! Dammit, Jay! Just fuck me already and...and - get back to your life. You can't make this - you _can't_! This is just...just a low and dirty fuck and then..."

He licked his lips, what could be seen of his eyes bleeding regret at having said too much, given too much of himself away.

"It's not _suppose_ to be...this - this _easy_ , Jay..." He whispered, his tone a muted blur against the thunder of blood in Padalecki's ears.

 _It's not suppose to feel this_ good

" _Jensen_..." A strangled cough of fury and pain, though his grip, his hold on Jensen remained gentle, like he was cradling something precious -

 _which he was_

" _Please_ don't do this to yourself -"

"It's done, Jared -"

 _it's over_

" - it's...it's who I _am_ , now. Nothing here is going to change this." His eyes became liquid green, the sympathy and pain he felt for Jared shining out of his eyes as they softened with regret, his voice low and soothing in tone. "You asked...I answered. There _is_ no going back. There's no...no _cure_ , Jay. I'm sorry, but once we're done here - once you leave -"

 _I belong to Geoff again_

" _ **No**_..." Jared choked, fingers tightening across the curve of Jensen's ass, curling in the back of his skull. "You don't mean that - you _can't_!"

" _Jay_..." Ever gentle. Sorry for what he was doing to him, sorry for who he was, how he got here - that Jared had to face it. He hissed slightly, squirming in Jared's grip as it crushed against bruised skin and bone, his pain translating against Jensen like the thrum of a bass, making him suffocate the gasps before they could alert him to his discomfort.

Padalecki wrestled with himself, the pain too great for him to grasp at the moment. _None of this mattered_. What he gave him, what Jensen gave _back_ \- it was so much ash and dust in the end. He wanted...he wanted so much _more_ \- but Jensen was dispelling the idea, just... _rejecting_ it out of hand.

 _When you leave_ -

 _Fuck - **no**_...

He could _feel_ it, there was something _there_ \- something Jensen was hiding. There was so much more to this, he just _knew_ it - more than the lies, the abuse, the rapes, the torment.

God, why did he have to _do_ this?!

" _Jared_ ," a sigh, seductive and warm. Jensen was trying to distract him, keep him from guessing, from thinking it through.

"Do you do that for _him_?" Low and enraged, Jensen's flinch of shame, his quiet demeanor telling him everything. " _ **Don't**_..."

He swallowed hard, remembering how Jensen twisted and writhed at Geoff's feet, caught in his vise-like grip, trying to sex-kitten his way out of Geoff's encompassing trap of rage and lust.

"What else do you do for him? _Huh_?" Still angry - angry that Geoff was taking Jensen away from him again, even though this scene, this moment wasn't over. Soon, all too soon it would be - and he would be...he would be _history_ , wouldn't he? " ** _What_**?!"

"I _bleed_ for him..." Jensen hissed back, going still in Jared's hard grip, eyes molten green. "I _bleed_ and _scream_ and _take it_ for him - is that what you want, Jared? It's what everyone _else_ wants! You want me to _beg_ for it? Want to see me all spread out for you? All dirty and fuckable and -"

" _Stop it_ -" Jared bleated, skin going pale, ashen at the implications of Jensen's words. That _anyone_ \- that _he_ \- could have that kind of power over Jensen.

"For now," soft, but somehow hard at the same time, each word bitten loose from those perfect lips. "For now, I'm _yours_ \- yours to do with as you please, to fuck any way you want to, Jared. Soft and gentle," disdain tainting the sentence, like it was impossible. "Or hard, fast, filthy and rough - I _know_ you'd like that, I know you'd -"

Jared growled, pain and lust and _want_ weaving into something darker, something that tasted close to hate. He had wanted to _love_ him, to show him that he -

He cut that thought off, burying his face in Jensen's neck, trying to keep from weeping as he mouthed at his pulse-point, feeling Jensen vibrate under his hands as he pushed him down onto the bed, fingers clutching and clawing at every inch of Ackles that he could get to, cock riding against his thigh as he leaned in, giving an experimental thrust to see what Jensen would do.

"That's it, Jay," he hiccuped a soft, wild laugh into Padalecki's ear, reckless rage answering Jared's own, baring his neck to be bitten and kissed. " _This_ is how it is - how it's _suppose_ to -"

He swallowed a gasp as Jared bore down with his hips, pinning Ackles beneath him, capturing his wrists in one hand and stretching them over his head, placing his other hand on Jen's chest, feeling his heart thump and thrum madly against his palm - but not knowing if it was from fear or from lust. Maybe both of these things, maybe neither - but it brought the crushing pain of this mess back home, the chill of it sitting low in his belly and legs.  


 **  
TBC...   
**

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings, Notes, Disclaimers and Links to be found in the last chapter...


End file.
